


When Angels Sing

by joonohon



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Historical, Alternate Universe - World War I, Angst, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Germany, M/M, Multi, POV Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), World War I, historical fiction - Freeform, im sorry, mostly angst, side hange/petra
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-22
Updated: 2017-01-22
Packaged: 2018-09-19 06:51:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,701
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9423437
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/joonohon/pseuds/joonohon
Summary: World War I Germany.Levi and Eren have lived on opposite sides of the same hill in the German countryside for as long as they can remember. When the Great War begins, they will need more than a miracle of God to get them through it all.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Song: The Ballad of Mack the Knife
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X7eO7MKEZAY
> 
> I'm sorry in advance. Please be gentle.

~~

 

PART ONE:

 

Birth

 

~~

 

1906

 

Levi: 7

 

Eren: 6

 

~~

 

"Eren, don't be rude. Say hello to our new neighbors."

 

Eren gripped his mother's hand tighter, looking up at her and pouting before turning back to the pair standing on the threshold of his home.

 

The lady was beautiful (though not at beautiful as Karla). Her dark hair fell stark against her pale skin, glowing with the afternoon sun. She smiled and leaned down.

 

"Hello. My name is Kuchel. We are from Berlin." When she received no response, she tilted her head and continued. "What is your name?"

 

Karla nudged Eren softly in encouragement. He peeked up at her through his lashes and blushed, looking to the ground shyly.

 

"... Eren."

 

"That's a wonderful name." His blush deepened, generating a laugh from the beautiful woman. "I have a son, too." Eren looked from the ground to her and then to the child next to her. Kuchel gripped the boy's hand tightly, pushing him forward ever so slightly.

 

"Hello." The boy shuffled, rocking his weight back and forth. "I'm Levi." He didn't say anything else, looking to his mother for approval. She gave him a gentle grin, nodding for him to keep going. "Um... It's. Nice to meet you." He sneaked a glance again, and his mother's bright smile calmed him.

 

The two women introduced themselves. The boys still held tightly to their mothers, but their gazes didn't stray from the other. Eren came out just a little bit from behind Karla and found Levi doing the same. No words were spoken between the two, but both went to sleep with the other on their mind that night after Kuchel had bid the Jaegers a good night.

 

~~

 

1908

 

Levi: 9

 

Eren: 8

 

~~

 

"Do you want a roll?"

 

Eren looked up from his paper, swiftly covering the drawing on it with dirty hands as he looked up at the visitor. Levi had a handkerchief cupped in his palms, a bread roll nestled in the cloth. Eren looked from the treat to Levi and back.

 

He didn't make any sort of verbal acknowledgement until Levi began to move the roll towards himself, mouth coming open to take a bite.

 

"No!" Eren yelled, reaching for the roll and snatching it from Levi's hands. The other boy smirked as Eren hummed in enjoyment. Karla rushed over from the kitchen, wiping her hands off on her dress.

 

"Is everything alright?" She stopped when she saw Eren eating. "Oh, how nice! Did Levi bring you bread?" She smiled, looking between the two.

 

Levi padded his way over to the front door, grabbing a small basket with a few more rolls in it. He held it up to Karla, blinking his big blue eyes up at her. "My mother made bread for you both."

 

Karla let out a laugh, shock making it somewhat breathless. "That's so sweet of her." She relieved Levi of the basket and placed a hand on his head. "Please tell her I say thank you."

 

Levi didn't seem to be very expressive, but he shone under the attention. "Ok." He quickly scampered off only to appear a few seconds later. He stopped in front of Eren, who had just finished his bread and was licking his fingers.

 

"My mother said we will make more bread later on today. If you help, you can have some." And with that and one last nod, he ran out, the grass outside rustling with his steps.

 

Both Jaegers stared after him, silence laying over them until Karla laughed and joined her son on the floor. He quickly pulled his fingers from his mouth with a pop!, setting them in his lap and wiping them dry on his trousers.

 

"Well, aren't they quite different." Eren snuggled up to her while she pet his hair. "I'm so used to living just you and I that I seem to have forgotten what it is like to have friendly neighbors." Eren clutched her tighter. The two stayed quiet for a moment, leaning into each other. Karla sighed, kissing the top of her son's head.

 

"Maybe." She blinked a few times. "Maybe you can get a good bread recipe from Ms. Kuchel; we can make some bread for your father when he returns from Munich." She hugged Eren just a tad bit more. "Doesn't that sound nice?"

 

A few seconds passed before Eren nodded slowly. Kuchel smiled, and with another kiss lifted them both from the floor.

 

"Ok, then. Go, wash your hands. They need to be cleaned very well if you're going to be cooking."

 

~~

 

1913

 

Levi: 15

 

Eren: 14

 

~~

 

"Alright, now grab the cloth and brush the wash over them."

 

Tongue sticking out of his mouth, Eren dipped the towelette into the bowl. The egg and milk mixture dripped off and he wiped off the excess before gently dragging the cloth over a roll, coating it and making it shiny. Levi helped and together they quickly finished the whole platter of rolls, putting them to bake in Kuchel's brick oven.

 

They looked out at the sky, poppies swaying on the hill that separated their homes. Grey clouds curled menacingly over the crest, bringing wind and the sound of thunder with them. Kuchel was in Berlin visiting her brother before he left for Austria-Hungary on business.

 

With no adult in his home and Karla across the hill, Levi stole away to his mother's room and took a cigarette from her jewelry chest. Eren's eyes grew wide, green unobstructed from view as he stared at the cig in shock. With fumbling hands and a few laughs, it was lit and passed between the two, smoke filtering through the room and into the rainy air outside.

 

Eren took a long drag, eyes watering and face pinched as he held the cigarette between two fingers. He blew out the smoke slowly, turning when Levi got up and began rummaging in drawers next to the fireplace.

 

"What are you looking for?"

 

Levi didn't answer, waiting until he pulled out a large disk and setting it to play on the family gramophone. The record crackled and popped before a woman's crooning filled the room. Levi sighed happily.

 

"I love this song." He smiled at Eren. "It's so beautiful."

 

The other listened for a moment. He laughed after a minute or two had passed. “It's not very nice, is it?” Levi shrugged, smiling nonetheless.

 

Und es sind des Haifischs Flossen, rot, wenn dieser Blut vergießt…

 

Eren sat next to the fire, flames dancing on his face and painting his skin bronze. They played in his eyes, red and orange melding with green in a brilliant gold. His gaze was gentle and fond. Levi blushed and made to sit down when Eren stopped him, throwing the cigarette in the fire and standing to meet him.

 

With a hand at his waist and another clasping his shoulder, Eren swayed in place, humming along to the woman's singing. Levi laughed, looking away.

 

"What are you doing? Do you even know how to dance?"

 

Eren grinned soft and inviting. "No." The grip at his waist shifted to wrap around him, bringing them together. "Will you dance with me anyways?"

 

It took Levi a moment to nod his assent, and with that they were making their way across the room.

 

It wasn't very skilled at all: mostly swaying and stepping from left to right, forwards and backwards. But despite the initial sense of awkwardness, Levi found his heart beating faster. His palms sweating. His breaths coming a hair faster than it was before the strange waltz of theirs had started. All the while Eren kept looking at Levi like he was the only thing in the room, and it was all Levi could do to keep that gaze and meet it.

 

Doch man sieht nur die im Lichte, die im Dunklen sieht man nicht...

 

The fire died down and the song stopped, replaying automatically as the two made their laps in the cottage. From living room to kitchen to dining room and back in just a few steps.

 

Eventually the intensity of Eren's stare softened and he smiled a bit wider, cheek coming to rest on Levi's head. He seemed completely unaware of what he was doing to his friend.

 

Levi sighed, locking away his confused feelings before putting his head on Eren's chest. Questions of what this surge of emotion inside him was would wait for later. Right now he closed his eyes and breathed steadily, hand over his best friend's heart.

 

~~

 

1914

 

Levi: 16

 

Eren: 15

 

~~

 

With the next year came the Youth Corps. Children from the surrounding area came to train at various posts, firing guns and stabbing straw dummies, preparing for the Great War that was breaking out all throughout the West. Miles and miles of the Fatherland were covered under the summer sun by little feet, sweat trailing behind the children of Germany.

 

Levi emerged top of his graduating class. Eren fell somewhere in the middle.

 

~~

 

1915

 

Levi: 17

 

Eren: 16

 

~~

 

Eren loved the smell that the wind brought right before it rained. It was thick, and he could taste the humidity on his tongue. The air felt heavier than usual, and the flowers seemed to stretch around him as he stared up at the overcast sky, trying to be the first to reach the inevitable downpour due any minute now.

 

He inhaled deeply and closed his eyes, awaiting the soft drops across his body. He could imagine them plipping softly on his forehead and plopping heavily onto his clothes, wetting his shirt and eventually soaking it through. He imagined the cool water on his skin, and how warm it would be after the rain stopped.

 

“Oi!”

 

Eren blinked, not understanding why he didn’t see the clouds when he reopened his eyes. After a few seconds, he beamed. What he saw was even better.

 

Levi.

 

He was standing above him, hands on his hips, torso at an angle, glaring at Eren with a frown on his lips, his eyebrows furrowed and wrinkling his brow ever so slightly. He huffed when all Eren did was smile at him wider, and rolled his eyes when Eren tried to grab his arms and pull him to the ground as well. Instead he took Eren’s hands into his own, threading their fingers together and closing them, stretching his arms out to his sides so he could see Eren’s face better. Eren giggled at the childish gesture. Levi only lifted an eyebrow at him.

 

“What are you doing out here? Your mother called for you, you know; multiple times. She sent me out here to look for you.” Levi leaned further down, nose almost bumping into the others. Eren sighed. His mother always nagged him so much. Couldn’t she understand that he just wanted to be in the rain? He voiced his woes to Levi.

 

“She doesn’t understand!”, he complained, letting go of Levi’s hands to stand up, brushing his backside to get rid of any grass or flower petals on it. “I just love the rain so much, why doesn’t she let me enjoy it?” He turned towards his friend, expecting a snort or a snigger in response; Levi thought Eren’s fascination of the rain was a bit silly. All he received was a glare. It was soft, but a glare nonetheless. He blinked in confusion. “What’s that look for?”

 

Eren watched as his friend walked around him, stopping when he was behind the taller. He looked him up and down, shaking his head and grabbing Eren’s wrist, pulling him rather forcibly through the fields and onto the dirt road beside it. Eren groaned as he realized they were walking (stomping, in Levi’s case) towards his home. Levi began to talk as Eren trudged behind him.

 

“You never learn. Why do you insist on playing in the rain? Your father is a doctor, for the love of God, yet you continue to put yourself at risk of catching a dreadful cold. It makes no sense. If you get sick, who will I have to make me tea in the afternoons?” Levi’s hair swayed left and right as he walked, brushing the back of his head softly. There was sweat on the back of his neck, and Eren suspected that it was due to the humidity. It air did seem damper than before… He smirked and went along with Levi, glancing up at the sky. Any minute now.

 

“You know, I for one think you should get sick. Maybe you can actually learn a lesson from it. If I were you, I would always make sure to- Oh!” Levi stopped abruptly and Eren bumped into him, giggling softly when he saw Levi staring cross-eyed at his own nose and the drop of water hanging off of it precariously. Levi shrunk in on himself, eyes widening and mouth gaping as water hit his head and ran down the back of his shirt.

 

Soon, the soft hiss of rain falling through the sky surrounded them, and Eren cheered loudly. He pulled Levi with him as he began to run around, trampling flowers underneath his feet and catching raindrops on his cheeks. Levi shrieked and cursed, trying to shelter himself from the precipitation with the forearm that wasn’t being tugged. Eren steered the two towards the dirt road they had been traveling on earlier but stayed in the grass, using the road beside him as his guide home. He figured Levi would not appreciate having mud his shoes. Grass wouldn't stain, and the wet leaves felt wonderful on his legs.

 

Finally they were nearing the Jaegers' cottage, but they did not go through the front door. Eren instead took them towards the outhouse behind it, directing Levi under the wooden awning to shield them from the rain. He turned around, his back hitting the wall with Levi bumping into his chest and nuzzling the warmth there. Eren laughed, wrapping his arms around the smaller and resting his forehead in his hair, both of them trying to catch their breath. Their harsh pants were almost stifling, warm and wet against each other. After their breathing even out, Levi huffed and pounded his fist against Eren’s collar bone softly with a smirk.

 

“Why take shelter under here? We’re soaked to the bone as it is.” He looked up at the taller boy through his bangs, and Eren sucked in a breath.

 

Levi was stunning.

 

His pale skin was spotted with water droplets and his hair was glistening, rain dripping from his black hair and onto his cheekbones. The apples of his cheeks were dusted pink, and teeth were barely peeking out when he smiled. His eyes were sparkling, the bright silver and crystal blue blending together to create the early afternoon sky that had been chased away by storm clouds. His pupils were big and round, taking the sky and sucking Eren in with it. He grinned wider at Eren’s fascination, placing a hand on the back of his own neck and chuckling embarrassedly. He turned his head away, glancing at Eren out of the corner of his eye.

 

Eren loved it when he was shy.

 

“What are you staring at? Shouldn’t we go inside? I don’t actually want you to catch a cold, you know.”

 

Eren grinned, leaning forward until their foreheads touched. He rubbed their noses together, their breath mingling in the almost nonexistent space between their lips. Levi closed his eyes and let out a happy sigh through his nose, smiling softly as Eren brought his hands up to hold his cheeks in his palms. His thumbs caressed the shorters’ cheekbones, growing warmer from the brightening blush underneath them. God, Levi was beautiful.

 

Eren must've said that out loud, because Levi hunched his shoulders and let out a small laugh. His eyes were scrunched closed, cheeks aflame and a wide smile on his lips.

 

"You're such an angel." Levi ducked his head, voice barely a whisper. "My angel."

 

Eren's heart swelled, chest full to the brim with adoration. He scratched behind an earlobe, just barely catching the undercut on his fingernails, and Levi opened his eyes to find Eren trying to bite down the grin on his face. Eren released his bottom lip from his teeth and leaned down slowly, breath coming quicker in anticipation.

 

Levi glanced downwards, eyelids lowering as he pursed his lips softly and met Eren halfway. They kissed softly, just a chaste peck as the rain hissed around them. It was lazy and slow. Levi brought his hands up to cup the back of Eren's neck, thumbs rubbing at the wisps of hair that trailed into skin and sighing into his mouth.

 

The kiss deepened, both enjoying the slow rhythm but wanting more. All hesitations were thrown away when Levi dug his fingers into Eren's hair, biting his lip and sucking on his tongue.

 

Eren moaned, letting go of Levi's cheeks. He gripped the other's' hips, bringing his thigh to settle between Levi's legs and ground upwards. Flame licked at both of their stomachs, starting low and growing with every passing second. Neither knew or cared how much time passed. Their kisses grew urgent, a desperate rhythm in their hips. It wasn't until Eren swept a thumb on Levi's cheek that he stopped, pulling back reluctantly as the other whined into his mouth. His thumb was wet.

 

"Hey, hey-" Levi kept kissing him, planting them on his cheeks and forehead. "Levi." He stopped, eyes wide and tear tracks on his face. "Why are you crying? Talk to me, my dear." Levi's lips trembled and he ducked his head into Eren's neck with a sob.

 

A watery "I love you" came from where Levi was hiding and Eren's heart broke. He wrapped his arms around the other, rubbing his back and head comfortingly.

 

"I love you too, sweetheart. What's wrong?" Levi let out a sob. "Sweetheart. Talk to me, please." It took a while, but eventually Levi succumbed to Eren's calming gestures, wiping his face and resting his head on the taller's shoulder.

 

The rain made it hard to hear, but Levi's whispers were right at his ear. "I'm scared, Eren. What will happen when we have to go to war?" His arms tightened around Eren, fingers clenching in his shirt. "I don't know what I would do if one of us goes and the other doesn't."

 

Eren sighed, eyes falling closed after his vision became blurry. He buried his nose in Levi's hair and nuzzled his head. After a moment of silence, he could feel tears dripping onto his shirt, hot and wet.

 

He squeezed the other. "My love, please, listen to me," he moved his hand to pet Levi's hair. "We'll be ok." He ducked to Levi's ear, whispering softly. "No matter what happens, just know that I love you. You're the best thing I've ever known." Levi sobbed once. "Do you hear me? I love you."

 

He grabbed Levi's face, cupping his cheeks and feeling his heart melt when Levi leaned into the touch. Levi gripped one of his hands with his own and kissed it, staying there with tears in his eyes.

 

"Levi, I love you."

 

His eyes closed, tears trailing on his face. Eren kissed his cheek, catching a tear with his lips.

 

"Levi, I need you to let me know. Do you understand what I'm saying? I love you." Levi gasped, breath shuddering in and out. "Let me know that you understand. I love you." Levi nodded vigorously, clenching his eyes shut even more and gritting his teeth. "It doesn't matter what happens; whether one of us goes or we both stay, or even if we both go. Nothing can stop me from loving you with everything in me."

 

Levi looked at him, eyes red and unfocused. "I just-" he paused. "I've known you, loved you, my whole life. I can't imagine what it would be like without you." He sniffed loudly. "I know we're young but that doesn't change how I feel."

 

"It doesn't have to, my love." He kissed Levi's forehead. "We're old enough to go to war. We should be old enough to love just as deeply as anyone else." He brushed the other's cheek with his fingers. "Nothing can keep us apart. Not even a war. You'll always be in my heart, Levi. No matter what."

 

Levi stared at him, wide-eyed until he nodded and kissed Eren oh so gently. "I love you, Eren."

 

They wrapped their arms around each other, Levi's head on Eren's chest, Eren's cheek atop Levi's head.

 

"I love you too, Levi."

 

They stayed there under the outhouse while the rain fell around them, the downpour unable to wash away their worry.

 

~~

 

1916

 

Levi: 18

 

Eren: 17

 

~~

 

The papers felt too heavy in his hands. The edges dug into the skin of his fingers and he wanted to rip them to shreds, throw them into the fire, spread the ashes into the wind, because this wasn't supposed to happen, couldn't be happening-

 

A knock dragged him out of his head. Levi sighed, getting the door only to find Eren standing at the threshold, smiling. At the sight of him, Levi couldn't hold back a sob and his lover's grin died. Eren had only a single sheet of paper in his hand compared to Levi's packet.

 

His angel came bearing good news.

 

"I didn't make it." Eren murmured. "I'm not going." He blinked furiously. He looked at Levi, then the floor, and back, eyes flitting all over the place in disbelief even as they flooded with tears. "Tell me you didn't make it." He gasped loudly, voice wet. "Tell me you're staying with me."

 

The agony on Levi's face said enough. Eren wailed, paper fluttering to the ground as he threw his arms around the other. Levi's shirt soaked through at the collar with tears. They were hot and sticky, warming him as he grew cold with realization. He would have to leave his mother.

 

He would have to leave Eren.

 

He might not come back.

 

His fingers turned white with force as he gripped the back of Eren's shirt. Burying his face into a tan neck, he crumbled on himself and sobbed, leaning on Eren.

 

Kuchel found them like that after she finished watering her flowers behind the cottage, running to tell Karla what had happened as their sons sobbed in the threshold of her home.

 

~~

 

Levi had always loved dancing. His mother would play her favorite records over and over when they lived in Berlin, women whispering sultry messages into the air and men declaring their hopes and dreams in booming voices.

 

His favorite song was one that told of death and despair, yet the tune and tone told such a different story. It never failed to amaze him. It became so much more important to him when Eren danced with him to the very song so many years ago.

 

Now, the song was nothing but a sick reminder of what was to come. Months on end of separation from his angel.

 

When he heard the song in his dreams, he thought he had finally gone crazy. At least, until he felt a pressure on his shoulder rousing him awake. He mumbled incoherently, finding it difficult to move even though his sleep had been fitful.

 

"Levi. Come on, my dear, I have a surprise for you."

 

With that voice whispering in his ear, Levi shuddered, grabbing blindly at the source. The voice laughed.

 

"Come, sweetheart."

 

Levi finally opened his eyes and saw only darkness. Gentle hands helped him up and guided him towards what seemed like the outside. As Eren guided him towards the shed behind his home, large hands came to block his vision. He laughed sleepily.

 

"Eren, where are we going? It's almost morning."

 

"Sh, just a few more moments."

 

When they stopped and he was allowed to see again, Levi gasped, cheeks flushing in surprise.

 

A fire-pit had been dug out, flames crackling next to a pile of blankets and Kuchel's gramophone, record spinning mesmerizingly in the firelight as Levi's favorite song played into the night.

 

He turned towards his angel with tears in his eyes. He couldn't keep them from falling when he saw a hand outstretched to him. Eren's eyes positively glowed, though Levi wasn't sure if it was completely due to the fire before them.

 

"Will you dance with me?" His hand was suspended in the air, waiting, until Levi lifted his own and twined their fingers together.

 

Levi brought himself closer, putting his ear against Eren's heart and whispered a soft "of course."

 

And so they danced. They swirled and twirled and held each other, skirting around the fire-pit and drifting away, only to be drawn back by its warmth. They never looked from each others eyes. Smoke and music and melancholy filled the air around them. Neither spoke about the tears trailing down their cheeks. Neither mentioned what was to come just a few days into the future: how Levi would be gone, and Eren would remain.

 

Instead, when they lay together after, shielding their passion from the world around them with naught but a few blankets, they whispered their love to each other, the stars lulling them to their first peaceful sleep in weeks.

 

When he boarded the train for the Front, Eren gave him a single envelope. With a kiss and the final parting words of "Come back to me", he was gone in a blur of trees and sky, and Levi was alone for the first time in years.

 

~~

 

PART TWO:

 

Death

 

~~

 

1918

 

Levi: 20

 

Eren: 19

 

~~

 

To Levi, it wasn’t so bad in the beginning.

 

They were a group of seven, and most of them were the same age. Leaning on the wall in the back of the canteen, Levi had his back turned to the barracks and was trying to light a cigarette. He heard his name being called, and turned around, the stick still between his lips. Five of them were coming up behind:

 

Gunther Schultz, the quietest and calmest of the group; Auruo Bossard, who had the strangest habit of biting his tongue when he was too excited; Erd Gin, who constantly raved about his wife back home; Mike Zacharius, who had a talent of sniffing out rations, clean uniforms, or the gas before it struck; and in the front of the group was Hanji Zöe, whose favorite pastime since coming to the Front was gathering lost items and other things from the nearby forests and holding them in his palm, shoving his hands in Levi’s face and saying “Guess what I’ve got in my fist.” Usually, it was something wretched that Levi did not care for, such as a beetle or the scraps of a bloody uniform.

 

It wasn’t until the group neared that they acknowledged the other man sitting on the ground beside Levi. He nodded his head, and looked past them to continue observing the forest. The oldest of the group, Erwin Smith had eyes like blue sea glass and hair like gold, and with a face like the soil that was hard and old yet comforting in the strangest of ways. His legs were bent up, his elbows on his knees and in the sunlight, he looked as young as the rest of them.

 

Levi admired him, with face that never seemed worried or fearful even as they were being bombarded; the deep, soothing voice that always ceased Levi’s tremors; the slope of his neck and his broad shoulders that seemed soft enough to lay a head to rest on. Levi was weary enough to do so. He thought of Eren, and how they used to lean against the side of his cottage over the hill and stare out at the fields of flowers and the mountains in the distance, poppies swaying as softly as their shared whispers and murmurs.

 

Levi would rest his head on Eren’s shoulder, much slighter than Erwin’s, and close his eyes, listening to the sounds of the world around them as he wished they could stay there forever, with Eren hummed one tune or another that his mother had taught him. Eren would turn towards him, pulling Levi into his lap and wrapping his arms around him; one around his waist and the other on his back, the hand cradling his head and placing it in the crook of his neck. Levi would let out a soft laugh, breathing deeply and burrowing into the warmth that was his best friend; his lover. His angel.

 

If he was feeling a bit mischievous, he would grin devilishly and put all of his weight to one side, falling to the ground and bringing Eren with him. Eren would yelp, flowers and leaves flying into the air as they plopped onto the floor beneath them. Eren would pout at Levi’s laughter, and Levi would kiss his nose and rub their cheeks together as a form of apology. The heat from Eren’s blush would not go unnoticed, and Levi would sigh at how adorable Eren was. He would lean in close and-

 

Levi blinked as Erwin called to him.

He looked into the older man’s eyes. They were the same blue as the sky above Levi when he was still home. When he was still with Eren.

 

He blinked again, breathing deeply through his nose and picking up his forgotten cigarette from the grass. “What was that, now?” he grumbled, the cigarette in his mouth as he fumbled for another match. He looked at up at Erwin, who was now standing, through the hair that had fallen loose in front of his eyes.

 

Erwin waited for him to take a drag, the smoke streaming through the air for a bit as Levi exhaled and then drifting off above them. Hanji tossed his arm around Levi’s shoulders. He turned the both of them around and slowly they all made their way towards the infirmaries.

 

“Moblit hasn’t gotten any better,” Hanji stated. “So, we decided to visit him and do some cheering up. I brought my cards so we could play some skat.” Levi nodded along, scanning the area around the infirmary. There was nobody outside.

 

Hanji opened the door and the noise erupted in front of them. The smell of sick was everywhere, and it was a tangible thing as it curled around the group. They moved through the infirmary quickly, finding their friend towards the back of the building.

 

Put lightly, Moblit looked like shit. One of his eyes was swollen, legs wrapped and splinted. His skin was a mottled grey, and his breaths were coming in wheezes. It wouldn't be long before the gas got to him.

 

Despite this knowledge everyone smiled, asking Moblit how recovery was treating him. As they sat and talked and laughed together, Levi was elsewhere, imagining the time Eren had bandaged his fingers after he cut them making sweet bread for the two of them. His hands had been gentle, wrapping gauze around each section and pressing a kiss to his hand when he finished.

 

Eren was so sweet and kind, always picking Levi up when he broke into pieces.

 

This time, Levi thought, looking at the mangled soldiers surrounding him, he would have to lick his own wounds.

 

~~

 

Shells bombarded the trenches. Screams and gunshots and explosions melded together in a macabre symphony, the soundtrack to Levi's agony. He hurriedly reloaded Hanji's assault rifle, bullet cases trembling in his hands. With a click Levi gave him the signal and Hanji took the helm with a crazed cackle, the other side of No-Man’s Land eating metal with every shot Hanji made. He laughed even as tears made clean tracks through the mud on his face.

 

Levi didn't judge. They did what they needed to do to cope with the hell that had become their lives.

 

Luckily, they were stationed towards the middle of the formation. Nobody looked forward to their turn in No-Man's Land, where men had taken to saying goodbye to their friends, giving them whatever possessions they had before running into the fray. Most never came back.

 

"DUCK!"

 

With the speed of lightning all the soldiers in the vicinity dropped to the mud, breathing in soil and filth as the earth somewhere behind Levi blew to pieces. The ground rained down around them, pieces of uniform and flesh singeing as they fell. And with the "ALL CLEAR!" they rose again, working like a machine to bring down another man, another enemy.

 

The war had turned them into monsters, but Levi didn't dwell on that as he grabbed another case of bullets to reload Hanji's gun.

 

~~

 

He watched them crossing the river, sweat streaming down his neck like water ran down their legs as they went onto the riverbank on the other side.

 

Hanji waved to him, cupping his mouth and yelling. “Are you sure you don't want to come? The ladies are waiting!”

 

Levi scoffed, shaking his head. “No, I can't.” He shifted his weight on the fence he was perched on, staying on the side of the barracks.

 

Hanji smiled. “Yeah, we know! You can't do that to Eren!” He pitched his voice into a horrible falsetto. “Eren! Oh, Eren! I love you, Eren!”

 

“Oi!” Levi barked. He was about to continue arguing when Hanji just cackled and ran off, following Gunther, Auro, and Mike as they followed the town’s lights towards a pub nestled between French homes. He sighed, clambering down the fence and trudging back to the barracks.

 

He crawled into his cot, pulling the sheets up to his eyes. He could practically see Hanji and the others sitting at a bar, beautiful women in their laps and drinks in their hands. Levi remembered a time when he would sit next to the fireplace with Eren, tan legs on top of his and a hand in his hair, gentle in its touch.

 

He could almost feel it, if he tried hard enough.

 

~~

 

He couldn't breathe. Blood trickled down his neck, bubbling as the man on top of him gurgled his last words onto Levi's shirt.

 

The man had jumped into Levi's hideaway in the middle of the fight, tackling him right as Levi had turned to draw his knife. He hadn't stood a chance; the blade sliced right into his skin and his life came pouring out, and with it went his body. Levi was trapped.

 

The man's eyes bugged out, staring at Levi with no emotion. Sweat poured from his face and soaked through his shirt. Levi knew that he needed to move, needed to get out from under this man, but he couldn't. He was trapped he couldn't breathe he was going to die here and never see his angel again, he needed to get back to Eren, Eren, Eren-

 

He pushed the man aside, already turning rigid as death took its toll on him. Rigor mortis set in as Levi tugged open his breast pocket, pulling out Eren’s envelope and ripping it open. He looked at the two photographs, alternating between putting them far away and right up to his eyes.

 

Eren looked beautiful from all distances, he decided. Even thousands of miles away, back in his cottage.

 

One photograph was of Eren as Levi knew him: smiling wide with eyes crunched closed and dimples in his cheeks. His hair was tousled with the wind, clothes ruffling with a breeze Levi could only imagine. Looking right into the camera, Levi pretended Eren was staring right at him, smiling like he would when Levi was back home. He breathed a bit easier.

 

Finally the body on top of him went completely still. Blood still trickled onto Levi, but night was falling, and he needed to get back to the main trenches before the troops changed posts. He managed to switch places with the dead man, French flag on his uniform facing the sky as Levi crouched over him. The man had dark brown hair and green eyes.

 

“I'm sorry it had to come to this,” Levi whispered. War made monsters of men.

 

He closed the man’s eyes and fireworks lit the sky. Levi looked up in alarm, ears ringing and eyes burning as grenades were being tossed and detonated from across No-Man’s Land to the German side. His eyes widened.

 

He would have to run through a literal minefield.

 

The ground began to thunder above him as fellow soldiers ran for the trenches. The could hear some dying already, flesh exploding and being blown apart. Screams wreaked the air as the French shot more shells. He curled up inside his hideout, ready to say a prayer and let death wash over him, however it came. That was, until another body besides the dead one joined him in his recluse.

 

“Erwin?”

 

Blue eyes wild and hair in disarray, Erwin looked every inch rabid. He had blood splattered across his face and a knife in his mouth, arms covered to the elbow in mud.

 

“Don't tell me you are quitting now.”

 

Levi blanched. He had been so good at being strong for his fellow troops, but he couldn't hide from Erwin. His eyes filled with tears, one fist curling as the other remained loose to save his precious pictures.

 

“Erwin, I'm scared.”

 

His eyes softened, and for the first time since they had met, Erwin smiled. He looked from Levi to the photographs in his hand, which Levi immediately brought to his chest. Erwin wasted no time, lifting himself out of the hole and into the fray. Before he went, though, he looked at Levi, knife in hand and hair flowing as shots flew by his head. He nodded towards the pictures in Levi’s hand.

 

“Do it for him.”

 

And with that, he was gone.

 

It was the last time Levi ever saw Erwin Smith.

 

He took one last look at the other picture. It was also of Eren, but a serious portrait, a small smile curving his lips as he looked somewhere beyond the camera into places unknown. Somehow, he managed to look fond.

 

Levi wanted to see that face again, whether in this lifetime or the next.

 

With a kiss to the photographs and a prayer to his angel, Levi took a deep breath and launched himself out of the hole, running like hell for the trenches.

 

~~

 

PART THREE:

 

Afterlife

 

~~

 

When Levi woke, it was in a bed. A real, soft bed with a thin pillow and a single sheet to cover his body. He brought the sheet to cover his face and nuzzles into it, breathing in the smell of cheap soap and antiseptic.

 

A moan rang out next to him and he turned his head to see a nurse attending to another soldier. She smiled at him when she finished and came towards Levi. She stayed at the foot of his bed, lifting the sheet and making a face before writing something in a little notebook and moving on to the next man.

 

It wasn't until she left and Levi wondered what her sad expression meant that he felt the pain. His leg seared, pain shooting up his spine and he groaned loudly between clenched teeth. What the hell had happened? He grabbed the edge of the sheet, steeling himself before ripping it off his leg.

 

It took all of his strength not to vomit.

 

He couldn't feel it before, but he could see it now. There were at least three distinct holes in his leg, one at the shin and the other two on the knee. While Levi was no pessimist, he knew that judging by the area of the wound that the pus that oozed out of it, he wouldn't be keeping his leg for long. He tried shifting his leg only to hiss again, contorting himself to see the underside of his calf. It was lacerated from ankle to knee, probably due to barbed wire.

 

Yeah, he was fucked.

 

He heard chuckling from somewhere in front of him and was about to glare at whoever was responsible, insult ready to fly off of his tongue until he saw who it was. Unbelievable.

 

Hanji grinned, wide and missing a tooth and he waggled his eyebrows. “Did you miss me, Levi dear?”

 

He would never admit it to the other, but seeing him was such a relief. Levi quickly wiped his eyes and took in Hanji’s appearance. “Looks like neither of us got off easy, huh?” Hanji had God only knew how many scrapes and bruises along his arms and torso, along with a splint on his arm and some bandages on his feet.. What was most jarring was the gauze wrapped around half face, glasses set over it in a way that was almost comical.

 

Hanji laid back with a sigh. “We’ve had it rough, my friend.” He closed his eyes. “It's time for a well deserved rest.” And with that, he was gone. Snoring soon started up, and Levi could have sang in joy at the thought of having a familiar face with him right then.

 

He couldn't turn his body at all; every movement set his nerves on fire as his leg protested painfully. Growling in defeat, Levi laid down with a huff and put his hands beneath his pillow, clutching the fabric tightly. That is, until he felt something brushing against his fingers that definitely wasn't linen.

 

Blinking in confusion, he patted the space under the pillow until he got a good grip on whatever it was, pulling it into the light. His breath caught.

 

His pictures. His angel.

 

Levi couldn't stop the tears as he clutched them tight to his chest, hating himself for forgetting about his angel for even a moment. The pictures had a few flecks of blood on them, stark against the black and white Erens on either one. It didn't matter, though.

 

While Levi didn't have high hopes about his leg, he knew Eren wouldn't care about something so silly as him missing a limb. He would probably need to get it removed, and then there was no way he would be sent back to the Front.

 

Levi would do anything to get back to Eren.

 

With that thought in mind Levi fell asleep, tears dry on his cheeks and pictures gripped tight in his pale fingers.

 

~~

 

The wound got worse.

 

Once a week the doctor would check on every patient, a few nurses tagging behind him as he grunted at their charts and made a note, moving on without saying much. Sometimes he would nod a few times and the nurses would sigh in relief, bringing the soldier a wide smile, maybe even a touch on the shoulder or hair with their lunch. Other times, the doctor would sigh and shake his head. The nurses would deflate and bring the soldier extra bread or a finger of whiskey.

 

Levi’s favorite nurse by far was Petra. She didn't bullshit when he asked her questions.

 

“What does the doctor think?” he would whisper, lifting his shirt for her to listen to his heartbeat.

 

Petra would pause for a moment, writing something down before sighing. She pursed her lips, tugging on her white gown and adjusting her hat. “Not so good, I'm afraid. It's fermenting, meaning it's not getting any better.” She placed a hand on his shoulder, rubbing it soothingly. “Doctor said it might have to go. A shattered knee isn't the easiest thing to fix around here.” She gathered her materials in her bag to move onto the next bed. “In Munich, maybe, but not here.” She looked at him with sorrow in her eyes. “I'm sorry, dove.”

 

Levi shook his head. “Don't be sorry, you've made this all the better.”

 

She smiled at that, and nodded in thanks before moving on to her next patient. Hanji whooped as she prompted him to lift his shirt, waggling his eyebrows at the poor nurse as Petra tried her best not to laugh, or blush, for that matter.

 

Levi smiled, shaking his head before closing his eyes. He wouldn't miss his leg.

 

If it meant that he could get out of here any faster, he would chop the damn thing off himself.

 

~~

 

When he managed to fall asleep, his dreams were naught but nightmares.

 

Soldiers blowing apart to unrecognizable pieces, screaming for help, crying as they bled out and reached for comrades that just ran past them, favoring their own safety over the lives of their friends.

 

This dream seemed to be more of a memory than anything. He was huddled in a hole and popped out periodically, shooting any and all soldiers in blue. He remembered hearing French being yelled and barked, commands flying in a foreign tongue as footsteps approached him.

 

Just as they were about to pass him, the shells came.

 

Screams filled with pain and fear rang through the air. Now was the time.

 

He propped himself and his gun out of the hole, shooting and not retreating. He mowed down man after man, watching them fall like dominoes on top of each other before shifting aim and taking down more. He would have to reload soon, so he just took out the legs of the enemy soldiers. They collapsed and began to crawl towards him, knives in their mouths and anger in their eyes.

 

It wasn't until he saw a dark freckled man he had just shot get blasted apart that he broke from his trance.

 

A booming “No!” rang out, and he watched entranced as another French man with sandy hair ran towards what was left of the soldier, clutching at half of his body with tears making pale lines down his mud-caked face. Blood soaked his uniform and painted the blue fabric a dark brown.

 

For a moment everything seemed to quiet down, pure sorrow enveloping the field like a cold and cloying blanket.

 

The crying stopped as the man was shot, falling on top of the freckled one. The fighting continued.

 

Levi broke from his trance and immediately set to reloading his gun when he saw it in the hole with him.

 

Eren.

 

Except it wasn't actually him; this was a twisted version of his angel, covered in blood and bullet holes and maggots that crawled into his mouth and eyes and they were everywhere and Eren was gone he was dead he-

 

Levi woke in cold sweat, tears on his cheeks and his chest heaving. He felt around blindly under his pillow and clutched the pictures, putting them to his face and sobbing as quietly as he could.

 

His leg ached all night and he couldn't get the feeling of maggots crawling on his skin to go away, no matter how tightly he wrapped himself in his bed sheet.

 

~~

 

“Oi, nurse! When can my wife come and visit?”

 

Petra rolled her eyes, turning to the soldier with a faux smile on her face. “Sir, we’ve gone over this. All family and friends are visiting next week.” She nodded politely, walking back towards Levi with an annoyed expression on her face. Levi barked out a laugh.

 

She bent to check his vital signs as per usual, watching him while she wrote her notes. She stepped closer before asking “Do you want to know if you have any visitors?”

 

Levi looked to her, eyes hopeful. He honestly hadn't expected the staff to send notification to anyone, considering they only did that when soldiers were expected to return back to war. Why have a visit if you were going home soon, anyways? He blinked. “Tell me.”

 

Parts smiled, covering her mouth with a hand. “It's a secret.” Before Levi could protest, she walked away, a smirk on her face.

 

He growled, smiling all the way as she laughed softly at him from Hanji’s bedside. Hanji made smooching faces at him before making them at Petra, effectively rendering her speechless and laughing raucously.

 

That day was highlighted by a visit outside, and the soldiers hobbled and were carried to the stretch of grass just beside the front door of the facility to feel the breeze on their skin.

 

The sky was blue and the wind was blowing, but it was bringing storm clouds with it, the air heavy with humidity as rain crept onto the landscape.

 

He was reminded of Eren and frowned at the sky, wishing his angel was here to sniff the air and say “It's going to rain hard; I can smell it.”

 

He didn't know he was crying until Petra wiped away his tears from where she was supporting him. He looked at her with a thank you in his eyes and she wisely looked the other way, never mentioning his moments of weakness.

 

For now, he would content himself with looking out of the window into the rainy world beyond as he lay in bed, daydreaming of days spent lazing around and enjoying his lover’s presence.

 

~~

 

Eventually the wound festered so much the doctor feared the infection would spread. He ordered immediate amputation.

 

If Levi could still feel his leg after it was removed he didn't say anything about it. The less things wrong with him, the better.

 

Eventually the skin throbbed a bit less and the swelling decreased to some extent. Levi could see clearly again and the haze of fever abated.

 

And just in time, because visitors were due to arrive the next day.

 

~~

 

1920

 

Levi: 22

 

Eren: 21

 

~~

 

He had waited literal years for this; he had dreamed about it countless times, daydreamed in every free moment, cried about it every night. And finally, the moment was here.

 

He saw the group shuffle through the doors to the infirmary, concentration on their faces as they searched for their loved ones. Levi didn't see him for a moment, but when he did it took his breath away.

 

His hair was a bit long and pulled into the tiniest of ponytails, barely scraping his shoulders as he clutched his briefcase tighter. His suit was fitted and made Levi mad with want, but at the same time, he wanted nothing more than to crawl into Eren's arms and spend the rest of his life there.

 

When their gazes locked, it was like a fire had been lit, prompting Eren into action. He ran across the infirmary hall, weaving between others before dropping his briefcase to the floor and engulfing Levi in a hug. Levi laughed and tears fell from his eyes as he put all of his strength into returning the gesture. It had barely been a few seconds, and he could already feel his shirt getting soaked.

 

Neither let go, Eren pressing discrete kisses to his jaw and neck from where he was buried. Levi fought to keep down his blush, but couldn't hide his giggles even if he wanted to. Before long both were laughing, nuzzling into each other and whispering “I love you”s. It wasn't until they heard a throat being cleared from the other side of the row that they paused, turning towards the sound.

 

Hanji was smirking at the both of them. Nobody had come to visit him. He watched them, nodding at Levi and smiling until Petra came by and began to dote on him.

 

It was just the two of them; other wives and siblings and parents were in the room, crying and talking and laughing, but Levi and Eren just looked at each other. Nobody else existed. They did not kiss, but their love was in their eyes, swelling around them as they finally reunited after years of parting.

 

They were finally whole again.

 

And when Eren said goodbye as visiting hours ended, leaving with the rest of the families to a lodge nearby, Levi slept peacefully, knowing his angel would come back.

 

~~

 

“Look, Levi! Poppies!” He wove down the path, bending down to snatch up some of the blooms before presenting them to Levi in a little bundle.

 

Levi blushed, whispering a “thank you” and putting one behind his ear and another behind Eren's. He placed the rest in his lap and smiled. They were just outside of the hospital in the back garden, nurses having assisted Eren in transporting him outside and onto a wooden bench. The sunshine was wonderful and Levi sighed deep from in his soul, listening to a small river babbling from somewhere behind the flowerbeds.

 

Eren sat next to him and wiped his hands off. His put his arm around the back of the bench, resting his head on top of Levi’s and planting a kiss in his hair. They were content to sit and bask in the afternoon sun.

 

Levi turned to the other. “What did you do while I was away?”

 

Eren blinked. With a sigh, he began his story. “I took up medicine, just like Father.” He shrugged. “It wasn't the most exciting thing, but I helped where I could and visited Mother often.” Levi gasped and Eren looked at him in surprise. “What is it, my love? Are you hurt?” He immediately knelt before him, hands flirting softly over what was left of his leg. “Does anything hurt?”

 

Levi shook his head. “No, no!” He was panting. “My mother.” He couldn't believe himself. “I forgot about her. Is she alright? How is she coming along?”

 

Eren sighed in relief. “Oh, she's fine. A bit lonely, but my mother keeps her company.” He smiled at Levi. “You're so caring, dear.” He rubbed a hand over Levi’s thigh. “You're the one who went through a damn war, and here you are, asking about your sweet mother.” When he looked up, with was with tears in his eyes. “I love you.”

 

Levi let out a shuddering breath. He cupped Eren’s face in his hands, caressing his cheekbones with calloused thumbs. “I love you.” He brought the other’s face up for a kiss, a chaste and sweet peck. It wasn't nearly enough, but it would have to do. He could hear the others inside.

 

Eren looked at him, concern taking over his features once more. “Are you sure you're ok?”

 

Levi nodded, eyes dropping. “Yes, love. I'm just very tired.” He squeezed Eren’s hand. “I just want to sit here and enjoy the day with you.” His lover nodded, and that’s exactly what they did.

 

They sat there for hours, fingers tangled together and sweet nothings peppering the air between them until the sun went down and they both went to bed.

 

~~

 

Levi’s bed was near the back of the room, towards the door where the doctor would walk in and walk out from. It couldn't have been past six in the morning. He wasn't completely awake, but he struggled to understand patches of what he thought was a conversation from behind the mystery door.

 

“What do you mean he won't make it?” a voice cried out. “He seems perfectly fine, Doctor.”

 

“I'm afraid everything is catching up with him. His blood pressure is beyond worrying and…” Levi couldn't catch the rest of the sentence before his eyes started closing. He tossed and turned, trying to perk up his ears and listen.

 

“I don't understand…”

 

“We… infection… stress, and anxiety…”

 

“ I'm here now… to fix it?” The first voice was wobbly, as if on the brink of tears.

 

“… I'm sorry.”

 

Levi heard sobbing from behind the door. What happened? Why was someone crying? He heard the second voice murmuring what he assumed were words of reassurance. He hoped that whatever poor bastard was doomed to die had at least had a good run, and promptly vanished into sleep as the door opened and the light went out.

 

~~

 

“Where are you moving me?” His words were slurred. The fever was back, but the doctor had said it was a side effect of his surgery; quick to come and even quicker to go. He grabbed for Petra’s arm, tugging her to his face. “Why am I leaving?”

 

“No, dove, you're not leaving.” She smiled, though there was something wrong with it. “You're moving to a different room.” It didn't reach her eyes. “Say goodbye.”

 

Levi looked around. The fever’s haze made him a bit slow but he waved at Hanji, flicking him off when he stuck his tongue out. Laughter was heard around them and Levi's head dropped back onto his pillow.

 

It was a bumpy ride, but eventually he was placed in a room by himself, a window facing the garden to his left. He ran his fingers along the sill and sighed wistfully. It was a beautiful day.

 

He tried to stay awake but couldn't, sweat drenching the sheets as he tossed and turned into a fitful sleep.

 

~~

 

The door squeaked loudly on its hinges. Everything was hazy, but Levi could have recognized his love anywhere.

 

“Eren?” he mumbled. The world moved in slow motion as he grabbed for his angel, fingers clenching around nothing.

 

Eren knelt at his bedside and he brought a hand up to stroke Levi's hair. “Shh, love.” He rubbed a thumb across the other’s heated cheeks. “How are you feeling?”

 

Even when he closed his eyes, all Levi saw was green green green. “Like shit.” He coughed, covering Eren’s hand with his own. “Don't stop.” He pursed his lips when Eren chuckled, not stopping until he got a kiss. He hummed into it, licking the seam of Eren’s mouth and smiling weakly when the other blushed, a chuckle in the air between them.

 

“You're so demanding when you're sick.” Eren was blushing. “... even now.” His expression dampened. He looked away, wiping his eyes and smiling wetly. “Levi, my dear. Do you remember that song we would dance to?” He nuzzled Levi’s nose with his own.

 

Levi smiled wryly. “The one we would make love to?”

 

Eren laughed, soft and breathy into Levi’s ear. "Yes, my dear, the very one." Levi sighed.

 

He never wanted to leave this moment. Everything was perfect; the world was getting darker around him as he looked into his lover’s eyes, everything fading into green.

 

Eren hummed that familiar tune, the grin on Levi’s face spreading as he closed his eyes.

 

“I love you, Eren. My angel.”

 

~~

 

Und die minderjähr'ge Witwe, deren Namen jeder weiß, wachte auf und war geschändet Mackie, welches war dein Preis?

**Author's Note:**

> I always seem to kill Levi off in my oneshots. Whoops!
> 
> This fic means so very much to me, so please leave a nice comment with what you thought!


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